hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize