I puked a lego.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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