NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
