My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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