holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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