She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
