is your mom at the bar?
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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