Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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