What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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