ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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