WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
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