Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
