I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
