Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
