Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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