You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
