Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
