I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
