she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
