I wannas sexs uuuuu
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
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