Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
