my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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