I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
