Well apparently he's into motor boating.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
