i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I smell like Dick and happiness
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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