so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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