haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
