i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
