no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
