I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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