If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
