Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
