I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
