the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
