My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
