You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
