In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
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