smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
