I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
What drink are we having for lunch?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
