I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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