How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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