i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
do nipples grow back?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
