I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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