he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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