i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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