Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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