it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
