Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
as a side note pls kill me
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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