she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
