Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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