It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize