That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
