She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize