Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize