Sorry, I don't speak sober.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
