I got chris browned last night
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
