as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize