if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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