We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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