I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
