dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you traded sex for a burrito?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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