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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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