not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
