I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
