i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
