so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
