We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
